Indian society has a long way to go to accept men and women as equals. Women are given more respect than before but they are still expected to act a certain way to fit in the image of an “ideal daughter-in-law”. Have we ever stopped to think why there is no fuss about what an ideal “son-in-law” or “husband” is? Every role of a woman is boxed into definitions and fine-tuned to fit the patriarchal society that we live in. Even age-old traditions and values inculcated in Indian women seem to favor men and their needs. A woman is expected to cook, clean, take care of her husband and kids while a man’s job is just to financially support the family. Back in the day, it made sense because women were not educated, did not have jobs and were not financially independent. But in this modern world, when both the husband and wife work, is it fair?
Modern Day Reality
Society is progressing towards equal rights and opportunities for both men and women. Or so we think. Let me tell you a story that happened quite recently. My mother’s friend, Meena, came home to visit her, a couple of days ago. As is routine, I greet her and leave them to talk and catch up while I go up to my room and carry on with my work. This time, she wanted to talk to me. She told me to sit down with them while she talked about her nephew’s wife, Rita, who studied with me in college. She asked me how well I knew Rita and I told her we studied together in college and back then she was a smart, independent and brilliant student who was admired by both her peers and teachers. It seemed like this was not the answer she was looking for because she immediately frowned upon what I said. She said “This is the problem with children from your generation. You do not want to be a wife. You do not want to respect your husband’s wishes but you want to pursue your career. Why do you want to get married then?” and I was appalled on hearing this.
Meena continued to insult and humiliate Rita because she expected her husband to take on equal responsibility in the marriage. I explained to her how it was not unfair on her part to expect them to share their duties, instead of pawning them off on one person. To this, she said “How will that work? A wife is supposed to take care of her husband’s needs and not the other way around. Because of Rita’s independent attitude, they are having fights every day and my nephew is unhappy in that marriage. It seems like they will get a divorce soon.” I did not know what else to say to her. I simply told her that it is their personal life and we need not have to worry about it or discuss it and got up and excused myself from the room. It was rather infuriating to hear someone belittling a woman for standing up for herself.
Then Vs Now
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How often have we heard this? We think society has evolved and moved forward but it is sad to see that even in this day and age people talk about women like they were put into this world to solely serve their husbands. They are talked down on if they are ambitious and confident. In modern marriages, both men and women work and share the financial responsibility of the family unlike earlier times. Women share the same work pressure as men and it is unfair to expect them to solely carry out all the responsibilities of the house. When both the husband and wife are working, they should share everyday chores like cooking and cleaning. That is the kind of partnership that a modern marriage requires, rather than following age-old practices that are foolish, unreasonable, and outdated in today’s world.
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Unlike the olden days, women are educated, confident, and financially independent. They want to be loved and respected by their husbands and are not afraid to stand up for themselves when they do not get it. They do not want to settle for anything less than what they deserve. While they value traditions, they also recognize the kind of traditions that treat them less than equals from their husbands. They have absolutely no fear when it comes to calling their husbands out if they are not treated with respect and dignity.
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Education has played a huge role in empowering women to know their place in society. We know that we are capable of shining and do not let anyone dim out our lights. Society has confined us into specific roles and it’s time we break out of them and demand what we deserve. No fear or judgment can keep us from breaking free from the shackles of societal pressure and years of conditioning. We have come a long way but we cannot stop because we have a very long way to go in this patriarchal society to be seen as equals to men. Let’s fight for what is our birthright, to be treated as human beings, irrespective of gender.
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